Chain Reaction

by Chris Losh

There was something depressingly inevitable about the news that recently filtered through the bush telegraph, that Waitrose is planning to set up more coffee shops in its stores and was even toying with the idea of creating its own line of cafes, independent of the supermarkets. (see Imbibe news story on this website).

Before I start, let me just say that I don’t have anything against Waitrose at all. In fact, for a large and successful retailer I’m impressed by the way in which they seem to be able to retain at least a shred of morality while all around them are losing theirs. And their anchovies in oil are particularly good.

It’s just that, well, do we really want big retailers throwing their weight around in the high street on-trade? It’s depressing enough that the likes of Starbucks, Maccy D’s etc should be quite so ubiquitous without chucking the Waitrose Coffee Emporium into the mix as well.

What next? Tesco Fried Chicken? Sainsbury’s Ciabatta World? The Co-op Pasty co? The Asda Lard Experience?

There are two obvious problems with the creeping tendrils of the retailers oozing their way into our world.

Firstly, these guys have pockets way deeper than anyone bar the owners of Manchester City. They can hoover up as many prime sites as they want, leaving everyone else to scrabble for the scraps. They have money to put into promotion and marketing that yer average bistro, bar or caff can only dream of. Their very presence in the market place acts as a distorting influence that inevitably works against the little guy.

Secondly, the on-trade isn’t their game. I’m sure they’ll research well, recruit carefully and focus group the whole thing to death. But when it comes down to it, it’s energy and vision that make any on-trade establishment inspiring, as opposed to merely functional. A place can be quirky or traditional, top-end or cheap, even good or bad, but first and foremost they need to be personal.

With the best will in the world, I hope that these plans of Waitrose (or anyone else) don’t get past the drawing-board stage. Not because they’ll make an arse of it, but because they probably won’t. And our world will become just a bit less colourful and interesting as a result.

And I don’t know about you, but the last thing I want to see is more shades of cream, stripped wood flooring, ‘this is quite nice but I’ve kinda seen it all before’ in our high street.

Standardisation is ok when you’re buying bread and cat food, but it’s really not what you want when you’re buying coffee, mojitos or the plat du jour. You want energy, vision and creativity. You want belief. Someone who is living the dream and wants you to share it, not an ‘income stream’ set up by the bean-counters with one eye on the GP and the other on their corporate branding.

So please, guys, stick to anchovies and leave the hospitality business to those who are in it for the right reasons.