VODKAFEST !!! by Ian Burrell

VODKAFEST !!!

First of all I would like to apologise to all the vodka lovers that I offended with my April fools joke. If you didn’t see it on Facebook then here it is. http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=195463960492121

How was I to know that hundreds of Vodka lovers had been waiting years for a pure spirit festival to highlight the subtleties of vodka’s complex flavour, and that as soon as they saw the advert for Vodkafest, they would be rushing to the proposed venue like Usain Bolt running away from one of those cougars from “sex and the city”. One person was so offended, that they de-friended me on Facebook and vowed never to drink rum again!!!! Allegedly world famous producer, rapper, entertainer and mixologist "P-Diddy", was asked about the Rum Ambassador's farce and was asked if he were going to take legal action. He commented by saying "Uh huh.Yeah"!

It seems that some people within the industry cannot take a joke. Apparently there are even frets towards me in Russia after Vodkafest was reported on “Russian Cocktails News”

…http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NfRUFcjnDXQ&feature=player_embedded#at=76

And to make things worst, the four people that actually turned up to my bar looking for the made up event decided that they would drink one of the most expensive rums on my back bar with coke and in a Mojito.

So to make amends to all of you vodka purists…I will for today become the UK’s Vodka Ambassador to promote positive things about the category. As an expert vodka drinker, or even a vodka novice, they are certain facts that you must know about the world’s most popular spirit. Here are my top 9 reasons why vodka is the greatest spirit in the world and why you must drink vodka.

1. Vodka is the oldest super premium spirit in the world. A hand crafted, golden coloured, ceramic bottle called Grand Duke Dmitry Donskoy Vodka was found in Russia. The bottle is said to have created in 1380 by Genoese distillers.

2. The Daiquiri was not created with rum; in fact Jennings Cox used vodka, lime and sugar to create his famous drink in 1898. Consumption of the drink remained localized until 1909, when Admiral Lucius W. Johnson, a US Navy medical officer, tried Cox’s drink and gave it to his Japanese brother in-law. Unfortunately Lucius’s brother in law committed suicide while drinking 100-proof vodka and flying his private plane. Thus the Vodka Daiquiri was called the “Kamikaze” from that day forth.

3. Vodka is the bartender’s favourite spirit…as it can be drunk while you are working, without fear of your boss smelling alcohol on your breath.

4. DIVA Premium Vodka, the world’s most expensive vodka, is triple distilled and produced by Blackwood Distillers of Scotland. The vodka is made with natural spring water and triple distilled through diamond and ruby sand. The diamond distillation process certainly adds to the cost of this drink, but the price is further driven up by the presentation. Each bottle contains a glass centre filled with precious or semi-precious jewels. The jewels vary and so does the price. Depending on which precious stones you chose, prices range from $6,033 to a mind-blowing $1 million per bottle! There is a more down-to-earth version of Diva Vodka filled with 64 Swarovski crystals that costs around $100.The vodka is said to taste great too !

5. The world’s most famous vodka distiller Dennoc Neebevouy*, has created the world’s cleanest vodka. Distilled an incredible 37 times, and then filtered a further 32 times through rare blue diamonds, Beluga pearls and purified with iced water from the centre of the South Pole. Bottled in a special moon beamed infused imperial glass bottle, the vodka is said to taste great too.

Distillers at the world's biggest vodka.

Distillers at the Dennoc Neebevouy distillery

6. Various beverage groups have stated that there were almost 300 new vodka brands introduced in the US in the last 5 years.

7. The Vodka based Bloody Mary is the world biggest selling cocktail that is served before midday. With millions of consumers calling for the “hair of the dog”, before lunch; there are rumours that some cereal companies are looking at the possibility of creating a “Bloody Mary flavoured Corn flake”. This could then be fermented and distilled to create a breakfast Bloody Mary Corn flake vodka!

8. Tiki Specialists Don Beach and Trader Vic Bergeron used a combination of different flavoured vodka to create some their greatest Tiki cocktails. The “Puni Puni” by Don Beach used 4 different styles of vodka as well as fruit juices and secret syrups in 1929.

9. Clare Smith!!!! Nuff said

Claire smith, One of the best reasons to drink Vodka.

So there you have it. 9 reasons to drink Vodka and forget about all those other spirits with congeners that will give you headaches and too many esters that confuse your sense of smell, thus screwing with your taste buds and face it guys…If you’re in a night club trying to pull a potential partner for the night then you’ll have a 93% better chance to succeed if you have a magnum bottle of vodka on your table…or in your pocket. **

If you have any ideas on how we can make VodkaFest a better event next year, then please leave your comments.

*There is no truth that the Dennoc Neebevouy, the world’s most famous vodka distiller, was to use his name on his famous vodka creation. But it was found that when you looked at his name in the mirror it send out the wrong message to vodka consumers.
** source…Real Man…men’s magazine

N.B. There is no truth that Jamaicans celebrate April Fools day two weeks later than everyone else because of …”Jamaican time” I.B

2 comments

Dangermonkey 15-04-2011

At he risk of being banned for saying such things here is a piece I wrote a while back about Vodka.

In Praise of Vodka
My friends would politely label or name me as an anomaly . I am many different things and capable of having multiple enthusiasms about disparate issues, causes and substances.
One of these many things is beverage alcohol in it's many splendid and multifarious forms.
Some of my chief enthusiasms for that subtle poison for without which life would become rapidly unbearable are for whisk(e)y, gin, brandies and eau de vies. But I also have dedicated a lot of time and attention to vodka. By last count I have almost 200 of them of every conceivable type from all over the world. They all are interesting (some if only in a bad way or humorous way), different and worthwhile in some way. And yes they even have a sense of terrior , a Russian vodka from the Yaroslavl area is as distinctive from an Estonian vodka as an Islay scotch is from a Highland,
It's just more subtle and in a narrower range of difference. I have Russian friends who can not only tell you what distillery but what shift made the vodka at Russian distilleries. It's a matter of attention to detail. Example:
A cola drink has roughly 50 + flavor notes to it. A lemon /lime clear soda (7 Up, Sprite etc.,) has only about 7 – but of course you can tell 7 UP from Sprite . Same holds for mineral water – the differences between most are quite remarkable , Gerolsteiner tastes nothing like Perrier and so forth.
Vodka can and does have unique differences that make it interesting, subtle yes, but interesting.
As to drinks think of it as a blending or catalyst agent. It is absolutely necessary for the mouthfeel, weight and mixing of some ingredients to make a successful cocktail, but many were you don't necessarily want a extra taste(s). If one were to use only alcohol containing eau de vies in a drink rather than juices or other non alcoholic liquids you would be either making very small drinks or a rapidly mind numbing cocktail. Vodka does serve a vital purpose as something to facilitate blending of ingredients and to give a feel and taste to a drink.
Also it serves a very useful function which I rapidly learned to appreciate while socializing with my Russian friends.
When you are eating a Russian smorgasbord type of meal with friends there are a huge variety of heavy, protein rich, foods that each would cling like grim death to taste-buds interfering greatly with the appreciation of a new item.The only way to clear your palate for the next course (O.K outside of slices of cucumbers , but what fun is that?) is to do a Russian Shot of Vodka – this is not some 1 oz shot or even a 1 1/2 oz jigger but a 4 finger 100 ml (that's 3.38 oz minimum) of vodka to clear and rinse the palate.
Above is a prefilled Russian shot glass – tear off top as you won't need to reseal it (they always unscrew a cap of a liter bottle and throw it over their shoulder too – but that is another story).
Such pieces of glassware -and the vodka to fill- it is an indispensable part of a proper Russian gathering both for the enjoyment of the food, conviviality and comradeship that will break out.
Using any other form of alcohol just does not work, nothing clears a palate like a large shot of clear cold mineraly vodka – leaving the palate refreshed and ready for more. Another point is hangovers – if you are doing things properly and having many toasts , you need something exceedingly clean of any other chemical compounds (the ones that lend color,taste, and mouthfeel in other alcohols) because you are going to do a lot of it – you just can't do them in the same quantities.
As my favorite drink for vodka (or at least the way to drink it) many times it is something my many Russian friends ( Paratroopers, ex Partisans, Chekists,) taught me- just a glass of pure vodka at about 40 degrees Fahrenheit (too cold and it loses too much taste) in a Russian shot glass you clutch it in your hand and bump fists with your friends so you don't alert anyone – (Army Officers, Fascist Invaders of the Motherland, or whoever ) that you are drinking . You are simultaneously celebrating life, relaxing, and getting one over on authority – what could be better?
From my blog

Cheers,
Chris

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Dangermonkey 15-04-2011

Oh yes, and of course Claire Smith.

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